Birthday Gifts for People Who Are Weird About Getting Older

Every year the same two options. Either the card pretends nobody is ageing, or it makes the over-the-hill joke that was tired in 1994.

There is a third option, and it is the one that has always made sense to me: say the true thing and celebrate anyway.

The birthday painting

Until the Lights Go Out is a flamingo skeleton at a party. There is cake with a lit candle, there are balloons, there is a small blue bear holding a drink, and there are two hand-painted signs: "I'll celebrate until the lights go out" and "life is a limited edition".

It is a memento mori that is not remotely depressing, because the skeleton is clearly having a better time than most living guests. For someone who has just turned an age they are quietly weird about, this reads as permission rather than a reminder.

Hand-signed print 35 euro, wall art from 22,95 euro, download 9,90 euro.

The one about time running

The Creation of Temporary Things has a mouse reaching for a strawberry, hands entering from outside the frame, and the words "sugar can't stop time, but it helps". It is caught mid-moment, which is a strange and good thing to give someone on the day they count another year.

The one for the nostalgic one

Save Point 11:59 is for the person who would genuinely like to save the game one minute before midnight and keep the file.

The sweet one

The Last Dessert is a skull cupcake. If someone is having a milestone birthday and has the right sense of humour, this is the cake that never has to be eaten.

A gift that arrives every month

For someone who says they want nothing, the Collector's Club gift subscription spreads the present across the whole year instead of one afternoon.