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Since my carotid artery dissection, I sometimes get this sudden fear that it could all just be over.

And that scares me. Because life feels so interesting right now. So deep, so emotional, so full of things I want to feel, make, see and understand.

Please, not yet. I love being here.

Maybe I want to paint this feeling.

A small figure, maybe a person or an animal, surrounded by beautiful things. Life everywhere. And in front of them, from their perspective, a huge overwhelming monster. The fear.

But the monster is tied up.

It can't actually reach them. The danger isn't real in that moment, but the figure can't see the leash.

So the fear still feels enormous.